I got on the tube yesterday and was taken a back by this very attractive woman.  What struck me was that she had these fake eyelashes on that were literally like a foot long.  I couldn’t help but stare…and stare I did.  She proceeded to put on more foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara, lip liner, lip gloss, etc. during the train ride.  Underneath it all, I could see that she had natural beauty and I found myself wondering why she felt the need to cover it all up with so much makeup.

Then it got me thinking about how in many ways this woman was just a caricature of all of us girls really.  Maybe our situations aren’t that extreme but being girls we are always up against this gnawing self-inflicted standard of perfection which leads us to be self-critical of ourselves and others.  This past year, living abroad I have been more free and more secure in myself than I have been in a long time.

I’d like to say that this is because I was born with this steely self-confidence and I know my worth.  But if I am honest,  I know that a lot of that has to do with my FI.  He is the first to tell me that I look beautiful when I feel the least attractive – like in the morning when I still have sleep in my eyes and my hair is all crazy (LOL!).  He has allowed me to be secure enough to get naked (figuratively speaking).  To feel more secure in myself.  To trust myself more and to have more confidence.  Some people get this extra boost from their families or their work.  Before I found that extra boost of confidence in my Jimmy Choo pumps (how can a girl not feel more confident in 4.5 inch heels??), my ivy league degrees and my perfectly manicured nails.

In those days, it took me over an hour to get dressed every morning because I needed my image to be perfectly orchestrated, the shoes, the dress, everything.  Don’t get me wrong, I still need a good 45 min and I still take care to look dashing every time I step out the door, but I am more forgiving of myself now.  If I don’t have time to get my hair done, I just work it out and throw on a cute hat or funky scarf and it doesn’t ruin my day.  I just turn up the glow from the inside out.

The point here is that that girl on the train likely didn’t have someone or something in her life that told her that she was beautiful the way she was.  Something that made her feel good naked.  That got me thinking about how many of us have people in our lives who play this role and how many of us have friends who do the exact opposite.  Instead of building up our self confidence, they tear it down.

So I thought of this challenge: “The Get Naked Challenge”

1.  Challenge yourself to go a day without looking “perfect.” Whatever that means to you.  If you normally spend an hour getting dressed, take 30 minutes.  If you normally take 30 to do your hair, take 10.  The goal here is not to make you look a mess but for you to just take one day where you strip yourself of all the external and “extra” stuff that is part of your normal routine. Then assess how you feel.  Do you feel good about yourself? Do you feel just as strong, confident, sexy, fierce? The answer for some will probably be no, and that’s fine but just take note of what in particular you are missing or what in particular you wish you had done.  The only goal here is to get you thinking about how comfortable you feel in your own skin…with your naked self.  Just take a snapshot of that feeling and let it sit with you.

2. Take note of who comments on your appearance. Who says good things? Who goes out of their way to say bad things?  Are these the same people in your life who also encourage you to spend money you don’t have on things you don’t need? Are these the same people who are negative to others, or about life in general?

Let me know how it goes for you. I would really be interested to hear your story.

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• See Jessica Simpson Sans Makeup in New Photo Shoot (stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com)

(FYI…I wrote this in June and for some reason never posted it.  )

Do you like your job?

Unfortunately, only 20% of workers can respond with an enthusiastic “YES!” when asked that question.  That means the majority of us are still searching for work that is meaningful and fulfilling. In fact, according to a recent Gallup study, more than two-thirds of workers around the world are disengaged at work and are literally waiting for the bell to ring at the end of the day so they can get on with life.

Isn’t it about time that  you started doing work that allows you to use your innate strengths, interests and passions daily?

Easier said then done, I know.  Here’s a start.  Check out ReadyMade’s “How Did You Get That F%$(*!@ Awesome Job” series for some good old fashion inspiration.

If after reading a few of the profiles, you feel moved to actually take some tangible steps towards transitioning to more meaningful and rewarding work, I recommend you check out the following:

• Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck.  It is a funny, practical and meaty guide to finding your life’s work and sorting out all the personal issues preventing you from living the life you desire.  It’s like having a psychologist in your back pocket and its worth every penny.

• For all of you wannabe Internet rock stars who dream about starting your own online empire, I recommend Tim Ferris’ Four Hour Work Week. It is a treasure trove of knowledge and the official work manual for Gen Y’s looking to decouple how much money they make from how many hours they work.

• Working Moms out there looking for tangible strategies for building flexibility into their careers should check out Womenomics. This book makes the case for why more women should stop opting-out and start demanding work on their own terms.  As most of us girls already know, the way “work” is structured today is just not working for most – both men and women.  This book offers a blueprint for writing your own rules.

This is a guest post from our fabulous BDG intern Monique Johnson (http://www.moniqueojohnson.com/).

I recently celebrated my birthday and planned a fabulous trip to Jamaica where I stayed for nine days! I even had the benefit of having my friends meet me for a long weekend while I was down there and we had a blast! Since I celebrated my 25th, I wanted to share with you 25 pointers I used to prepare for the trip in addition to money-saving tips while I was there:

1. Establish a Mint Account- Mint.com is personal finance software that is completely free! Mint has one feature that I took advantage of for my trip and that is “Goals”. This software will help you allot “payments” (amount of cash to put away each month) over a certain period of time in order to meet your financial goals, such as for a trip.

2. Establish a ING Direct Saving Account- ING Direct is a online savings/checking account with much higher interest rates than the average interest you would receive at a commercial bank.

3. Create a Budget- I used Microsoft Excel to create my budget. My particular budget included my general expenses and income but it doesn’t take long to set up one I promise! Check out Budgets are Sexy for pointers on setting up a budget for general purposes and for certain financial goals.

4. Use Credit Cards – I researched my credit cards rewards benefits prior to travel to see which offered the best deals for my upcoming travel and which one offered me the best in terms of international exchange rates, fees, etc. This is important to know as some cards charge you a fee on each transaction you make in a different country.  Getting smart on which card is best for you to use prior to and during travel can save you a pretty penny on both ends.
5. Research Travel Websites- I wanted to do it big, so I organized an “all girls” trip with four of my closest friends—only two made it. But the silver lining in all of this was the additional travel sites I stumbled upon. Aside from the common sites: Priceline, Expedia, Hotwire, etc. I ventured towards the underdogs: Whichbudget, Budgetflight, Seatguru, Tripeedo and SkyScanner. Tripeedo was the prevailing winner for this trip.

6. Research Hotels- In order to avoid the hotel disaster from my birthday in Miami last year (bad case of bed bugs ) I decided to conduct an extensive research on several hotels without succumbing to a 5 star resort.  I decided on a 3 star resort called LEGENDS. It was twice the experience yet half the price.  I found Expedia.com to have the most comprehensive hotel reviews.

7. Create a Group Budget- Prior to the trip, my friends and I, who are all frugal in our own idiosyncratic ways, decided to devise a budget that would be conducive to our financial needs. In order to accomplish this, I created a separate budget for the weekend my friends were coming down. After intense negotiations we came to a sizable agreement (with our friendships still in tact ).

8. Book Tourist Events Locally- a lot of times it is cheaper to wait until when you get to your location instead of booking events/tours online because the prices tend to be inflated. Most of the time you can negotiate and we took advantage of our savvy skills.

9. Hang with the locals- interacting outside of tourist boundaries allows you to not only make new friends, but you will get the inside scoop of the places to go for night life and it is cheaper to eat at local spots and let’s not forget the scrumptious tastes.

10. Skip the Resort and Stay with Friends and Family for part of the stay (if possible)- Being that my family originates from Jamaica I did not want to go the typical vacation route of being locked into a secluded resort and I wanted to give my friends the total experience of being in another country. The fact that we didn’t have the “all-inclusive” luxuries not only saved us money but also forced us to convene with the locals and devour the various foods that Jamaica had to offer.

11. Create a Payment plan for the trip- Along with Mint, I figured out a payment plan for the expenses incurred on my credit card.

12. Limit souvenirs- Although there was temptation to splurge on souvenirs and gifts I disciplined myself to keep my spending to a bare minimum. I escaped with only a few items for my significant other back home and of course some things for yours truly.

13. Save on Cell Phone Charges- Knowing the exaggerated international fees cell phones companies charge to people traveling internationally and the fact that I don’t own a blackberry phone with BBM, I decided to purchase a local phone instead.

14. Save on Lodging Arrangements- Half of the trip I made arrangements to stay outside of a hotel- As stated earlier, I arrived a week before my friends got there. I stayed with family which was very cost effective.

15. Limit Taxi Rides- After being charged 30 US dollars to go a mile!!! We decided we would be better off walking to other locations. Although, we did befriend a local cabbie who gave us fair rates. We rewarded him with gracious tips.

16. Seek out places to go that are free- After a couple of days, our frugality started to rear its ugly head and we began to look for the free stuff around town. Therefore, we sought out places that were either free or very cheap.

17. Negotiate Group Discounts- the larger the amount of people you arrange to go, the less the contribution per person. I made sure to invite a good amount of people to help reduce the per person contribution and also to make up for last minute cancellations.

18. Prepare to say “no thank you” and have discipline- it is very tempting to spend over your budget especially when you are bombarded with vendors with very unique crafts.

19. Ditch the laptop- Knowing how addictive my new Mac laptop can be, I decided to leave it home so I wouldn’t be tempted to pay for Wi-Fi and stalk people on Facebook and provide updates religiously on Twitter.

20. Take advantage of the duty free items at the airport- items such as alcohol tend to be cheaper in the airport because it is duty-free (without tax).

21. Determine when to pay US dollars versus local currency- Depending on the situation we realized when to use the American dollar versus the Jamaican dollar. Ideally, the American dollar was more conducive to our meals and cab rides.

22. Always keep an Extra amount of cash on you- Of course, emergency cash was needed just in case I got stranded. Thankfully it was only a precaution.

23. Tip Well –Its good karma and it can help you go a long way especially with taxi drivers.

24.  If you are a lady take advantage of Ladies Night Discounts! - I must admit the advantages to being a woman are far greater than being a man sometimes. For instance, guys would happily splurge their cash on us with drinks just to be in our presence. I’d say it was a fair exchange being that we kept our cash and integrity as respectable women.

25. Let it be known that you are celebrating a special occasion!
Last but certainly not least it was my BIRTHDAY and I milked this fact to the bone! Free drinks, food, you name it. It was all at my disposal when I uttered the words “It’s my birthday!”

In a nutshell this was a great trip and a wonderful experience! I hope you learned a great deal on how to prepare for a your next trip and these tips can be of good use.

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• Mint.com Can Help You Budget for Next Vacation (abcnews.go.com)
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Call me gullible.  Call me naive. But when I first saw Chris Brown‘s performance at the BET Awards I didn’t question the authenticity of his tears.  My initial reaction wasn’t, “What a punk!”  I just took the moment in for what I perceived it to be – raw, unscripted, emotion.

In the ensuing hours, every celebrity tabloid on the planet was ripping him apart with “expert” analysis of the situation and instant replays of the tears. “Was this a desperate marketing ploy to save his music career? Were the tears real?”

Everyone was all too quick to assume negative intent and so eager to exert negative energy getting worked up about something we will never know for sure.  It’s entirely possible that he faked his breakdown and that it was all a brilliantly choreographed publicity stunt.

But what if it wasn’t?

Think for a moment what would happen if we assumed positive intent.  Assuming negative intent drains us.  It saps us of our positive energy and makes us angry, frustrated, and just plain negative.  Sure it is easy to dismiss Chris Brown as a immature, woman beating, egomaniac that should rot in hell.  All those things may be true but how do you and I benefit by tearing him (or anyone else for that matter) down?  The answer is we don’t.  In fact, we never do.  All we do do by thinking negative thoughts and giving them life through our words is successfully attract negativity and hate into our lives.

What if we decided to take a different approach and assumed positive intent by default.  What if we stopped judging and contemplated the possibility that what we saw in Chris Brown was genuine emotion, a glimpse of raw humanity.   Think of how inspiring the thought of someone actually looking in the mirror and consciously making a change can be.  What if we allowed ourselves to believe in people again and their ability to change?  Thinking about this possibility alone lifts my spirits, lightens my heart and encourages me to have faith in others.

Admittedly, we are a manipulated society.  Polished politicians and slick talking, PR prepped celebs make it hard for us to know what to believe, who to believe or how to believe anymore.  But the fact remains, you and I will never know what is in Chris Brown’s heart.

All that we have control over is our own hearts and minds and I hope that when given the option, you choose to fill them both with positivity and light verses negativity and darkness.

Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is right around the corner!  While this American federal holiday traditionally commemorates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring US independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain, the BDG decided it was time to give the holiday a new twist by also celebrating independent women like YOU!  That’s right, we are celebrating all the women out there who are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

If you aren’t afraid to speak your mind, know your net worth and your self worth, make your own decisions, proactively manage your career or are living a life of purpose, we would like to celebrate YOU!

Are you an independent woman? Tell us why and you will be entered to win $100!

Here’s how to enter:

1. “Like” The BDG Club on Facebook.

2. Tell us why you are an independent woman on our Facebook discussion board or in the comments field below.

We will be giving away $100 to one lucky and independent BDG Club member on July 4th, 2010!  So, Enter now! Good luck!

I am in the middle of planning my wedding.  To some of my friends’ dismay, I have not obsessed about the occasion.  Nor have I dreamed about this day since I was a little girl.  What I did fantasize about was changing the world, becoming a pop star and one day meeting someone with a good heart who would love me unconditionally.  It is finding the person who embodies all these values that gets me psyched the most!  I often think to myself, “How the flip did I get so lucky?!”  In my mind, I have already gotten the prize, the wedding is just an event to celebrate the awesome gift of love I was so very fortunate to find in my fiance.

The ring my fiance gave me is beautiful and has a simple band that holds a beautiful round solitaire diamond (its certified conflict-free so please no hate mail (wink)).   To me, it serves as a consistent reminder of our commitment to each other and the love we share.  But if I am truly honest, I know that it is also a status symbol.  In some unwritten rule book, a women’s ring size has been deemed to be directly correlated to how much she is valued, how important she is in society and how much she is loved.  I’m not really comfortable with this – although I guess in some weird way I benefit from it.

I even find myself becoming insecure about it at times – which is freakin’ ridiculous! I’ve noticed that if I am in a room with women without rings and I catch their eye glancing at mine, I think, “I hope they don’t assume I am some obnoxious, pampered and spoiled princess because of my ring.”  If I am in a room where someone is wearing a ring the size of a small child on their hand, I think, “Geez, her rock is HUGE, who is she, she must be important?”  It’s gotten to the point now where some of my newly engaged friends have even changed their FB pictures to pictures of their rings!

For me, rings go into the same category as designer bags.  I love them, they are beautiful…but in the end they are just things.  I don’t want them to define me and I darn sure shouldn’t let them make me feel more or less secure about myself.  What matters in the end is the love. I know a few ladies who got big rocks and ended up divorced just a few years later.  So, don’t let the bling blind you or make you feel less than you are (or more than you are for that matter).

I believe that true love shines from the inside out…and right now I am beaming.

What do you think? Have you ever felt insecure because of someone’s wedding ring or the fact that they have one and you don’t? Do you think the size of rings have gotten out of control?

You’ve no doubt heard of Fergalicious…well let the BDG introduce you to the concept of being Fruigalicious!

Fruigalicious

adj.  1. Highly pleasing to your wallet and your inner fashion Goddess

n.b. the word “frui” is the etymological root of the word frugal and it is Latin for “to enjoy.”  To emphasize the joy of saving we decided to keep the spelling.

One of our Kick A$$ summer interns, Monique Johnson from Another TwentySomething did some digging on the web to unearth the best fruigalicious finds and here is what she found…

——-

Have you ever wondered how your friends are able to go out to 5-star restaurants at least once a week and receive frequent spa treatments? And you find yourself at home struggling to reduce your credit card balances. Isn’t it supposed to be a recession?!! It must be a big secret right?

Well, the BDG is here to put you “in the know.” Here’s a hint: the secret was briefly touched upon in a previous post, but I want to share a little more with you here.  Below are the top online sites every Brilliant Dazzling Goddess should know about!

For the best deals on local city adventures check these sites out:

LivingSocial.com is a website that provides daily discounts of up to 90%. Once you buy a discount deal (note: you have 24 hours to purchase it), you are allotted a certain amount of time to use your “coupon”. You also have the opportunity to get the deal for free by sharing it with three other friends who also make that same purchase. Sounds like a sweet deal don’t ya think?! I have already taken advantage of the daily deals where I receive two bikini waxes that are 59% off and I have until November 18^th to use them! You can’t beat that in the Big Apple! Don’t worry, LivingSocial has deals in multiple cities nationwide. So check it out today!

DailyDeals.com is a blog that provides daily discounts, clearances or freebies on retail, restaurants, entertainment, etc. These amazing deals are posted multiple times on their site so I suggest that you just sign up to their RSS feed.

For designer fashion at bargain prices try these sites:

Gilt.com is a website that provides large discounts on luxury items (Can you say Gucci purses?) of up to 70% for 36 hours only. However, it is by invitation only. If you don’t have any friends who are currently members do, you can go directly to the site and  request membership.  I have heard so many great things about Gilt! If you are granted membership, be sure to invite your friends and receive $25 after their first purchase.

Renttherunway.com is a website where you can literally rent the hottest and newest fashions!! All you have to do is make a reservation online and they will ship it you. Since we are talking about small wallets here, this is perfect for all us! We are all guilty of having that one dress that we paid a fortune for and only wore it once.  Unfortunately, it is just collecting dust in our closets.   RTR will help us save so much money and help make space in our closet too!  Here’s the icing on the cake, the return shipping is free and RTR takes care of the dry cleaning!

Bagborroworsteal.com is another rental site but for high fashion hand bags! Jennifer Hudson, from the Sex in the City movie, is a prime example of how to take advantage of this site! Check out the scene here. They also offer rentals in jewelry and other accessories.

For some TLC try these sites!

After a hard day’s work we all would like to be pampered and soothed without the distractions from life outside of work and home. So treat yourself to  a hour or a full day at the spa! If you are in the U.K. you should checkout Wahanda.com! It’s an “ecosystem” that provides a plethora of spa and wellness listings in addition to the latest deals! If you are in the US, check out Spa-addicts.com! Their mission is to provide everyone a “spa lifestyle” through comprehensive listings along with the most current deals and solutions to wellness problems!

Whew! So you are now officially “in the know.” I hope you find these sites helpful!

What are some group discount sites that you are a fan of?

Yeah, yeah. I know you are priceless and your love, no money can buy.  But amongst us girls, do you really know your worth?

Recently, I posted an article on our Facebook page about women’s net worth.  Needless to say, the picture isn’t pretty.  I was chatting about this with a good friend and we were both shaking our heads when she asked me…”So what is net worth anyway?”  I knew then that I had to write this post.

Despite the lofty name, net worth is a simple formula really.

Net Worth = Assets – Liabilities

Said plainly, your net worth is how much you OWN minus how much you OWE.

If you owe more than you own, you have negative net worth. Our goal is to make sure that you have positive net worth.

So how do you know if what you have is an asset or a liability?

An asset is anything that you own that has positive economic value. Assets can be tangible like a house or intangible like stocks.  The easiest way to think about whether or not something is an asset is to ask yourself, could I convert this thing into cash if I needed to?  If you could exchange your car, your house, etc for cash then it is an asset.  If, on the other hand, you tried to sell your house and instead you owed money – then what you have is a liability, not an asset.

A liability is something you don’t own but that you owe…something that has negative economic value. A few common liabilities include credit card balances, car loans, mortgages, student loans.  Sound familiar? All of us likely have some type of liability hanging over our head.  The goal, again is to try to minimize these as much as we can so that net, net we are positive.

Now it’s your turn to determine your worth…are you ready??  Some people are hesitant about this step.  It can be scary. Trust me, with all the student debt I have I was a bit timid about doing the calculation myself.  But hiding from the truth never helps anything, it just prolongs the inevitable.  So chin up! We’re all big girls here.  Let’s roll up our sleeves and do the math.

Attached I have created the BDG “Know Your Worth” Net Worth Calculator just for you my BDG Crew!

Check it out here: KnowYourWorthCalculator

Remember, its okay if your net worth is negative right now. We are still young and have years ahead of us to accumulated mucho assets! The important thing is that we all now have the knowledge to take action.  You should check your net worth at least once per year to make sure you are heading in the right direction…positive!

We just launched our first BDG contest and we are psyched! (hence the big font )

Since summer is just around the corner, we know you will be on the hunt for new sandals, bags and accessories (on sale of course!). So we are giving away a $25 voucher to www.zappos.com to one randomly selected winner!

To enter, all you have to do is fill out a 1-minute survey by FRIDAY.

Here’s the link: http://bit.ly/bdgsurvey

Good luck!

Last year this time I was still working in my high paying, finance job, kicking back in my corner office.  This year I am a bootstrapping entrepreneur and my “office” changes daily from Starbucks to the Soho House depending on the day of the week.

There are a few tricks I have used to lower costs without sacrificing.

Here’s the top 3:

• Buying Drinks at the Club/Pub. Instead of slapping down a tenner every time I want a Grey Goose and pineapple, I have decided to get the party started a little earlier in the evening by pouring myself some wine while I am getting dressed.  An entire bottle of wine costs less than one cocktail at the club so I make sure that I have plenty to drink before leaving my house and then if I get a little parched while I am out I either order more wine (cheaper than cocktails) or sometimes I come across some Joe willing to buy me a drink in hopes of getting to know me better.  Silly rabbit!  (This trick alone has saved me about $50 bucks a month).

• Random Shopping Sprees. I call it the “shopping diet.”  Don’t get me wrong, I still shop.  It’s just now all my shopping sprees are thoroughly planned, thank you very much! I allocate a certain dollar amount that I can spend each month on clothes and grooming. I take that money out as cash – not CREDIT- and then when I see something I want I just take out my envelope with my shopping money and spend the cash directly.  If I don’t have enough, I can’t buy it. I have to wait until next month when I have a new “allowance.”  By that time, the thing I had to have is usually replaced with some new hot item.  This has done wonders for me because I don’t feel guilty about shopping, I know that all my expenditures are planned and on budget so I can shop with ease.  (Conscious spending tricks like these have saved me on average $100 bucks a month).

• Hair & Nails.  Back in the day I used to get my nails done every other week, sometimes every week if I felt the need.  I still get them done every week – I just do them myself.  Yes, I am now the official DIY Queen.  One reason is because it is very expensive to get beauty services here in the London ($70 USD for a mani *gasp*).  So whenever I head back to NYC or DC on business I make sure to get a proper mani and pedi at more reasonable prices.  In between trips, I just go to Sally’s Beauty Supply and purchase my own manicure kit and polish.  This way I am good for at least a month in between professional jobs.  I must say that my nails look pretty good for a DIY job.  I also do my own hair.  I bought a hooded dryer and some hair rods and spent a few hours on YouTube looking for videos on how to do the latest styles at home and that has worked out quite well.  The one thing I don’t pinch on, however is my eyebrow shaping. That I leave to a professional.  (My DIY regimen has saved me $100/month on average.  That’s money in the bank!)

What?  You want more?? Ok, here are two more tricks…

• Entertainment. We never watch TV in my house. We watch TV Shows but none on TV mind you.  I watch them on the computer – FOR FREE! Most of the shows that we want to watch we can view by simply logging on to Hulu.com, YouTube or buying an episode off of i-Tunes.  We also watch movies this way – saving us 50% off the price compared to what we would have paid if we actually went to the movies.  We still “go out”, we just do it in different ways.  Like having a picnic in the park with friends or having folks over for Wii Parties.  Good ‘ol fashion fun with less of a hurtin’ on the wallet.

• Dining Out. I rarely dine out these days.  Mostly because I am too busy working on my business.  Also because I have really picked up my cooking skills this year.  Cooking at home takes a bit more time but it is creative and I really enjoy mixing and matching recipes and discovering new dishes.  My FI is a better cook then me so he often takes the lead in the kitchen as well.  A great meal and a bottle of wine make a great evening no matter if they are enjoyed in a 5-Star restaurant or on a cozy couch. Check out this site for some great recipes from star chefs, www.cookstr.com.

In total I’m saving  ~$400/month.  That’s almost $5K a year!  What are some of your Recessionista Trix?